Natural Parenting Works

When Cedar was an infant, in-arms, and I was already doing many things differently than conventional, modern parenting (see previous blog posts), there was no obvious way at the time to see the implications and long-term results my approaches were going to have... I was just doing things My Way, simply because this was how Love & Joy were guiding me.

Cedar will soon be 20 months. I can officially announce that my approaches have worked... and I believe they will continue to work in more profound ways as he grows. I see so many things about the way that he is that inspire wonder and awe in me, things that are reflections of his influences as a fetus, newborn and infant.

This blog post was inspired by a little boy who was just born to some friends of mine who live a similar lifestyle as we do, nature-infused and free. They, also, will be raising their child Their Way, and I desired to share with them how rewarding it has been ALREADY for my husband and I to raise Cedar according to our hearts and intuition, rather than other people's theories or cultural programming.

If you are parenting with purpose, and with consciousness of the effects of every influence you provide, you will see your own version of the results I am seeing. Here are examples of my version, to inspire you to continue with conscious and purposeful child-raising, with enthusiasm and faith in the inevitably amazing rewards!

At 19.5 months, my son Cedar...

...is the most cold-hardy person I have ever met. Do you really have to "bundle up" little babies in thick clothing during the winter to protect them? Or are we meant to develop a natural level of comfort in any weather with minimal or no clothing, if only we are given the chance as an infant? Cedar wears minimal or no clothing (depending on the season, and if we are at home or in public), usually just a t-shirt or two and leg-warmers at home in the middle of winter. We use minimal to no heat in our home in the winter (usually just a couple of space heaters on the coldest winter days). I have become fairly cold-hardy, from purposeful adaptation... but Cedar is WAY moreso, and I am in awe :)

...has never worn a diaper. At his early age, he is pretty much "potty trained". He knows (and often announces) when he is going to pee or poop, and usually does so outside in the grass (this works for us, since we have some wild acreage). At night during sleep, we used to use a puddle pad and towel in our bed for him to sleep on, and at this point most of the time he just sleeps directly on the sheets with me, because it's rare that he pees on the bed now. If he has to pee during the night, I take him to the bathtub and hold him while he goes. I will write a more detailed blog post soon about our experiences with elimination communication, since this is one of the most common things I am asked about!

...has never worn shoes. I can tell that his feet and ankles are extremely strong and well-developed, in perfect proportion to his body, and super cute! He walks around in wild grasses and nature, barefoot. The bottoms of his feet are smooth and beautiful, with an evenly-distributed padding underneath the skin (they do NOT have unsightly callouses, as one might think from not wearing shoes). This beautiful padding on the soles of his feet protects them from sharp burrs and things on the ground, and looks completely natural. From being barefoot, he has learned to be aware of where he is walking, and avoids anthills, spiky plants, sharp rocks, etc. He does love playing "dress up" by walking around in my shoes, which is fun for him... shoes are about play, not something he needs to navigate challenging environments.

...can identify most edible wild plants that grow on our land, and enjoys eating them! He even has his own names for many of them. He can identify, and enjoys eating wood sorrel leaves and flowers, wild arugula flowers ("woo-tah"), wild garlic greens and flowers, greenbriar tips, henbit, dandelion flowers, chamomile, wild dewberries, hackberries, pecans, juniper berries, and more. He can also identify, and avoids, the sharp spiky things that grow here, like bull thistle leaves! We're still working on poison ivy identification... :)

...has already planted seeds in his own garden bed, watered them, watched them grow into plants, and eaten their fruits. He is learning about the growth cycle, and the time it takes, and the nurturing and waiting required for the perfect ripening of plants.

...enjoys a wide variety of strongly-flavored, healthy, natural foods. He experiences a high level of freedom in his food choices, because all the foods I provide for him are nutrient-dense and unprocessed; therefore, it is okay with me whatever he chooses to eat, or not eat. No pressure, no expectations, no enforced mealtimes... just freedom and exploration. One big reason this is possible, besides being only provided with nutrient-dense foods, is that he is still breastfeeding many times daily (he is probably 75% lactarian right now... haha!); so whether he eats or not, I feel confident he is receiving the nutrients he needs from his natural urge to continue nursing on cue.

...is exceptionally healthy and robust. He is strong and gorgeous, with 12 perfect teeth and long blonde hair. He has only had runny noses a handful of times (after being around other children with runny noses), which are only a minor discomfort for him, and only last a few days as his immune system accommodates the new "information".

...understands most of what I say to him. I speak to him in adult language (no baby talk, although I love using his words), and often explain things in detail, with the energetic expectation that he will know or feel what I am talking about. He listens intently, and demonstrates with his actions or words afterward that he understands. When I speak with him, I form concepts as clearly as possible, and also see the images in my mind. I believe there is also a telepathic aspect contributing to his exceptional level of understanding, which is actually normal between parents (especially mothers) and small children... but only if we know it's possible and normal, and act accordingly!


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All that said, this is just as important: when I say "Natural Parenting Works", I am NOT saying that he never cries or fusses, never acts clingy or demanding, or never expresses frustration. He passionately expresses all the emotions that are natural to all humans I have ever met. When he expresses himself, he does it fully, then he is done and onto something else... if he is upset and screaming about something, and I am calmly present with him and listen to him (without getting riled up or trying to change his experience or rushing to "make it better"), he usually resolves it on his own and is laughing again moments later. Childhood is full-on, and intense! This can certainly be challenging for us parents at times, but I can honestly say that the most challenging moments, looked back on, have been some of the greatest gifts he has brought me. I have matured through those moments, by feeling my way through them and being open to their lessons, and I am truly strengthened. I embody more grace, harmony and strength in my being than ever before in my life.

I encourage all parents who read this, as you raise your children, to DO IT YOUR WAY. It may look similar to my way, or very different, but the important thing is to be guided by your own Heart, your own intuition, and what inspires Joy for you. As you make choices consciously and with specific purpose, you WILL see this reflected in your child (immediately or eventually), and your greatest reward will be the Joy you feel from seeing the flowering of the Being in form who is in your care at this time.

Radical Nourishment for Your Magical Toddler

This coming September, my family will be returning to the completely amazing Rethinking Everything conference -- a 5-day conference for families who are forging new paths by transforming lives filled with long-believed societal limitations into lives abundant in freedom, creativity and joy. This annual international conference is in Dallas, Texas, and it has always been a peak point of excitement for me every year I have attended! This year I am hosting two sessions of my own: Radical Nourishment for Your Magical Toddler, and Brave New World. Barb Lundgren, Queen Creator of this conference and an amazing woman/mother I have known for most of my life, recently asked me for a half-hour phone interview on radical nourishment for young children. Our interview went by fast, as there was so much to say!

Click here to listen to the recording of our interview for free!

(click to listen, or right-click to save the file to your computer)


Before our interview, I took tons of notes. I realized during the interview that the way I write is very different than the way I speak... we had an inspired conversation, which went so differently than what I had written down! I'm going to post my notes here, so you can have both. It's all so relevant to this blog, and all these subjects could be expanded upon immensely (and they probably will be). Enjoy!!

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Q: Tell me about radical nourishment for a young child. It begins with breastfeeding, right? What about breastfeeding? What makes one mama's breast milk different from another?

A: It actually begins with pre-conception cleansing/nourishment of BOTH parents, then pregnancy, then breastfeeding on cue, full-term. Introducing other foods gradually, when the child is truly ready (some signs of true readiness include having teeth to bite & chew, ability to sit upright on their own, true interest in eating rather than just touching/tasting/feeling with mouth). Child-led food exploration, fully supported by breastfeeding. Until a child is 2 or older, eating food is more about exploring the world than taking in nutrients... breastmilk is there in abundance to provide the majority of the nutrients, which eliminates parental stress about "finicky" toddler eating habits. The substances in the contents of each mother's unique milk will transfer affinities for certain foods to the child even before they are eating food... (for example, Cedar LOVES strong-tasting healthy foods like algae, olives, and lots of wild foods).



Q: How do you know what is safe or right for your young child?

A: A little bit of research, and a lot of intuition and common sense. Breastfeeding exclusively for as long as possible gives a baby the chance to prepare fully before eating ANY foods (this could be 6 months, or 9 months, or a year, depending on the child's desire and readiness for food). Most superfoods are safe (things like algae, seaweeds, berries, olives, grass powders), as they are simply nutrient-dense foods. A certain class of herbs called tonic, or adaptogenic, herbs are also safe and very beneficial. Wild foods (most, not all) and medicinal herbs contain more alkaloids (which can be medicinal and healing in small amounts, and can be toxic in large amounts). Especially if you are wild-foraging these, the child will guide themself on this. At 18 months, there are many wild greens which Cedar still has no interest in, and they are often the bitter and fibrous ones. I eat these things, so he receives their benefits through my breastmilk, and from this he is already cultivating a taste for them for later on when they become appropriate for him. He enjoys eating certain flowers more than greens at this point... generally flowers are milder tasting, and have pollens which are gentle, very nutritious and beneficial. If you live on land that your child can freely forage from (where no chemicals have been sprayed), it is good to learn about the small number of poisonous plants, and just pull these up so they aren't an area of concern. Many wild plants and weeds are highly nutritious foods, and many other wild plants are not really used as food for humans, but are not blatantly toxic either. A relatively small amount are toxic. Naturally, we would intuitively know what is edible and what isn't, but we have a ways to go to reconnect fully to that intuition. That's why, as a parent, if you choose to enjoy wild food and allow your child to, learning how to identify plants is an important and very empowering skill to cultivate! I believe it is well worth the time and effort to receive the benefits to you and your child of exceptional health, strength and mental powers, as well as the joyfully freeing knowledge that you are no longer fully dependent on the "system" for your nourishment! ...Your most nutritious food staples are given to you freely by nature, with no corporate middle-man... this is probably AS important to your health as the actual nutrient benefits!

Think about this... all pharmaceutical drugs originally come from medicinal plants. The drugs are isolates of some of the strongest alkaloids in specific plants. These drugs are toxic to our bodies, because all the co-factors that occur naturally in that plant to balance and regulate the effects of the "active" alkaloid have been removed. Yet, people still take these drugs and at first they seem to work. Why? And why do people seem to need these drugs? Because in our culture's standard diet of processed foods, and foods that have been hybridized so they will taste better (which means removing most of the alkaloids, aka medicines), is devoid of medicine. "Your food shall be your medicine, and your medicine your food". So, people need drugs. Including children... many parents give children drugs for illnesses, ear infections, etc, to seeming good effect (only at first, of course, because it is simply quick-fixing the symptom without correcting the underlying issue). When you use your logic to put all this together, it shows that even children require plant alkaloids to stay healthy!


Q: How do you handle outside influences and your child, specifically those that send messages regarding sugars, processed foods, fast food, etc? How do you empower the child at every moment and minimize the bad stuff at the same time?

A: In the world we are living in right now, this can be a challenging situation, which I have thought about and still think about a lot. Ideally, we would be living in community, in nature. The only food that would exist is the foods that we and our fellow community grow by our own hands. A child growing up in their own flourishing garden paradise with healthy community all around is in a very different position than children in today's world. This is what we are transitioning towards, and yet, what do we do as we raise children during this transition? My approach is: choose influences wisely, with as much discernment as possible and practical. Choose friends that care for themselves and their children in radical ways, and your child will experience this as being "normal". We have no desire to go to places in the "old dimension", such as the mall, restaurants, and places that have reason to sell junk food or other artificial, unhealthy contrivances. Instead, we choose to exist in the "new dimension" of abundance, health, nature, community, where everyone is a healthy influence. We host gatherings, parties and playdates at our house, and invite friends and community we resonate with. And we attend gatherings at their places, too. This provides PLENTY of satisfying social interaction for me and for my son, without having to resort to interactions with people who are choosing to live unhealthy lifestyles.

That is all a wonderful, creative thought/ideal, and remember we are in transition, and will experience situations that don't fit into this view. For example, with family members like grandparents, cousins/uncles/aunts, etc. In this case, for any of these people who have an active role in your child's life, sit down with them and share with them the way you are choosing to raise your child, and have a conversation about how they can support you in that. This will be a conversation you will revisit with them as your child grows. Clear communication and honesty about your ideals are very important to maintain respect and love between you.


Q: How long does a parent need to be concerned with the quality of all the food their child is eating?

A: Cedar is only 18 months, and I am already noticing in a big way his (and all children's) desire to explore EVERYTHING in his environment. If there is something in a child's environment that you don't want them to explore, it will very likely become a power struggle at some point. To the degree we are able to provide environments they are able to explore as freely as possible, is the amount of ease we will experience in our relationship with our child. For example, if you want your child to only eat certain foods that you consider healthy, and yet you personally eat some other foods, or keep them in your house for some reason, your child will eventually want to experience them. You can think about how this applies to your particular situation, and make any modifications from there. Just don't expect your child to show no interest in the influences YOU have provided them, whether its your habits, or other children, school, daycare, etc.

Gradually, as your child matures, they will begin choosing their own influences. By this time, if you have raised them to enjoy healthy food and other healthy lifestyle practices, they will have this as their deep-rooted foundation, and for their entire life they will be comparing (often in a deep, subconscious way) everything they choose and experience to their foundational experiences. I have noticed that children who are raised in a healthy environment, even if they choose at some point to delve into some of the harmful things in today's society (which I did myself as a teenager, simply to understand what it is all about), they will learn something valuable from their experience, and most often end up creating a very healthy environment for themselves as adults (and for their children)... often even healthier than the way they were raised! That is my personal experience of my life so far, and I have seen this in others I know, as well.


Q: What about water, juice and other beverages?

A: We drink wild-harvested spring water. Cedar loves it. He especially loves it cold or in "ice" form. Fresh vegetable or fruit juices are great, even right at the beginning of their solid food explorations. Cedar also drinks sips here and there of smoothies and superfood drinks that I make (in small amounts, he seems to prefer food that has more solid textures at this point), and homemade lacto-fermented "sodas" that I make.

Cedar's current favorite foods & beverages: my breastmilk (still 75% of his food intake), radishes from our garden, homegrown sunflower sprouts, wild foods: right now arugula flowers, wood sorrel flowers and leaves, wild garlic greens... chlorella tablets (he loves the crunch), nori seaweed, avocados, apples, frozen berries, cold/frozen spring water and nettle tea infusions ... I waited for a while to introduce seeds and nuts (seed, nut and grain digestive enzymes mature at 2.3 years), but he began expressing a strong interest in activated (soaked then dehydrated, to minimize enzyme inhibitors) seeds, and in-shell pecans from our land, so I am following his intent and letting him practice chewing these things (he has 12 teeth now, including 4 molars)


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One thing that is of primary importance in radical nourishment is growing your own food, and eating wild foods, so your child can experience directly WHERE FOOD ACTUALLY COMES FROM. This is TRUE "fresh food". It is powerful for a child to learn through experience that food comes from the earth, and grew from little seeds that you and they planted themselves and cared lovingly for until fruition... not lined up neatly on shelves in a big building with bright lights, where you can only have it if you give certain people pieces of green paper and metal coins. Their observation and experience of this is just as significant as the actual nutritional difference between homegrown/wild food and store-bought food. Simply put, children will believe as true the things they experience directly for themselves, OVER what they are told exists in theory.

If you live in a place with absolutely NO ground space to plant a garden, buy lots of pots and start a big, lush container garden on your balcony, in your kitchen, etc! Do what you can do right now, while you steer your life towards your ideal vision in the long term.

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Resources for more information:

Come to my RE session, "Radical Nourishment for Your Magical Toddler" in Sept 2011 ... and for the broader aspects of child raising in a community setting, my session "Brave New World"

Wild-harvest spring water for free in your area: findaspring.com
Read the Ringing Cedars book series by Vladimir Megre

Cedar's FIRST Birthday!! Wow, really?!?

Hello... long time no post! Can you guess why? I've been caught up in the most fun, most immersive whirlwind I've ever experienced... being Cedar's mother. I've often had the thought of posting some kind of blog about some aspect of parenting, and then I think about all the other things I just HAVE to say, and it seems so overwhelming! He's napping right now. So I'm going to start this blog and see where it goes... short blogs are fine too, even if I really feel like writing a 200-page book about this past year... :)

Okay, I'll start with some updates. Cedar's FIRST BIRTHDAY is in 10 days! How did THAT happen?!? Staying home with him, committed to being present nearly all the time with his process of development and discovery, I often find myself in a place of timelessness, where hours and days go by as one moment. My biggest joy and delight is observing and relating with Cedar as his true nature shines through more and more every day, and how his unique nature of being interacts with an ever increasingly wide variety of the things and other beings existing in this world. He astonishes me. I completely adore him. He is strong, expressive, bold, totally gorgeous and sweet, very smart and focused, and highly capable of accomplishing anything he sets his mind to (very quickly).

He is walking/running all over the place now, climbing stairs (among many other things), and even proficiently navigating the uneven terrain of nature, barefoot! (he has never worn shoes, for optimal foot development) ... He has long, wavy blonde hair (the most hair I've ever seen on a baby his age!), and tan, healthy, sun-kissed skin. He has excellent posture and muscle tone, and the perfect amount of baby chub to fuel his intensely active lifestyle :) He has 4 huge, glistening white teeth that he loves to show off with big grins... and I think he's growing some more right now -- All signs point to YES on that one! He has a strong voice and very clearly communicates his specific desires, even with his very small repertoire of "english words" (just mama and dada/daddy so far, with hints of other words coming soon).

He is still mostly breastfed... maybe 90% of his nourishment comes from my milk, the rest of it from his "experiments" with food. The way I view his nourishment at this point is: breastmilk is for nutrients (and connection), and any other food is for practice (grasping and chewing) and experience (tastes and textures). At this point, there is no way any other food can come close to my breastmilk in terms of full nourishment for his specific stages of development. I eat nutrient-dense foods and drink nutrient-dense liquids every day, at every meal. Maybe if someone wasn't doing that, their baby would need other foods. I am doing it with great joy and purpose, for him and for myself. I drink a quart of nettle leaf infusion every day (I actually desire that much nearly every day!), and raw superfoods of various types are a big part of my food choices at this point. I'm also enjoying local organic in-season veggies (currently cucumbers and tomatoes, YUM!), pears from the pear tree in our yard, avocados, homemade sprouted rye bread (lightly baked, essene-style), homemade herbal lacto-fermented sodas (I make my own root beer, ginger ale, and a bunch more unique recipes), soft-boiled pastured/free-range eggs, local raw grass-fed butter, adaptogenic herbal teas, and sometimes sprouted, steamed quinoa. And superfood chia drinks. And especially my CHOCOLATE BALLS!! ..a cosmic concoction of raw cacao, a big variety of superfoods and adaptogenic herbs, with coconut oil and a small amount of raw honey.

I chose to list my current favorite foods to expand your idea about what's possible as nourishment during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Of course, the specifics will be different for everyone... and I encourage you to try any or all of the foods I mentioned above, and see what you really love and feel nourished from!

Another popular topic for many parents I talk with... Elimination Communication! When people find out that Cedar has never worn a diaper, and is usually naked (except when we go out, he wears pants or underwear), they wonder how it works! It's been a fulfilling journey of empowerment and communication. We still have plenty of "misses", and that means nothing to me when I feel the satisfaction of seeing him really GET something regarding his elimination... for example, if he pees on the floor, I immediately get a cloth and wipe it up. He sees me do this all the time, so now he usually does it before me! He pees, and if there's a cloth close by, he'll start to wipe it up on his own! We usually go outside on the front porch when I see his "poop signals"; he does it out there and I wash it away with the hose. Well, just today he started squatting/focusing/"pushing", and I asked him if he was pooping, and he immediately walked to the front door to go outside! He has yet to have interest in peeing/pooping in his little potty, but he's starting to make the connection, and I think one of these days I'll find him going in his potty all by himself! The great thing about EC is it encourages a baby to remain aware of their functions of elimination, which they are aware of from birth, but usually taught to ignore by sitting around in wet/poopy diapers for too long... then they have to re-learn later, during "potty training". No need to potty train! Just as babies innately know when they're hungry from the day they're born, they also are aware of their need to eliminate, just as much as adults are. Babies are amazing!

Another thing I desire to talk about, because it's something we did that was different than anyone else I've met so far: we actually didn't take him anywhere in a car until he was over 8 months! Early on, I felt so content staying home with him, and he seemed like in a way he was still "gestating" and was still so sensitive and open to subtle energies (some say there is an "external gestation" period of nine months after birth, and also that a baby's chakras take 3 months to actually seal up!), and I felt inspired to keep him in the "Space of Love" we created for him until I felt an intuitive signal that he was ready to venture beyond. It certainly made it easier that we live on 5 acres of land, so have plenty of SPACE to explore outside... and also that my parents eventually moved next door to us, on 10 acres of beautiful nature! Somewhere around 8 months, I started feeling the desire personally to participate in more away-from-home activities, and at that point Cedar seemed so physically and emotionally mature, and SECURE, and thirsty for as much adventure as possible! So we started taking him to our local farmers market every weekend. Just this past week, Cedar & Isaac & I spent 5 nights at a hotel for the amazingly awesome Rethinking Everything conference. This was a WAY new experience for Cedar, and he loved it! So, waiting to take him into a car didn't have any drawbacks, and only benefits, as I see it. That may be one reason he developed so quickly in his physical abilities... because he had endless opportunity to practice all day long, with no sitting and waiting in carseats.

Whether or not you resonate personally with the choices we made regarding our baby and cars, I desired to present it as an option, to empower new parents with additional possibilities for raising their babies. If my words speak to you in an inspiring way (about anything I did/am doing), that's wonderful, and if you resonate with something else, you will still know of these things as options, maybe to share with other people you know!

Wow, this blog has been satisfyingly long, and I've talked about most of the things I've thought so much about and feel so important to me. Cedar must be glad I'm doing this, since he's still napping! ;) I'm sure I will think of quite a few more things I just HAVE to say, and this is a nice healthy chunk of food for thought, for now!

ENJOY!

My Blissful Pregnancy & Cedar's Glorious Birth

I gave birth to my first child, a radiant little boy named Cedar, on the glorious morning of the Autumn Equinox. As I write this, he has been enjoying his cozy life full of love and new sensations and experiences, for over a month. During this time I have often reflected on my pregnancy and birth experiences, unique and profound as they were. I’ve known that I’ll have to write about them, and yet there is SO MUCH to say. During my whole pregnancy, and now also as I take my first steps into motherhood, I have been rethinking everything related to these topics, and finding new empowering realities which serve to cultivate a much more fulfilling, blissful, ecstatic experience of my role as a mother with my precious child, than the commonly accepted, life-diminishing beliefs about pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

The story of my pregnancy and birth is a story about Trust. My birth story is also a story about courage and commitment. I am a person who thrives on doing things in radical ways, which to me means I tend to make choices with maximum possible potential for evolutionary experiences and new peak levels of joy and empowerment.

So I’ll begin with how my pregnancy unfolded. First of all, I have been a raw vegan superfoodist for about 8 years. This is a foreign concept to most people at this time, and for me at this point, I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s totally normal. So naturally, I was a raw vegan superfoodist during my pregnancy. I am sure this had a significant influence on my “unusual” level of comfort and ease during my pregnancy. I had no cravings for unhealthy foods (which are caused by nutrient cravings, if someone’s food choices aren’t meeting the additional nutrient requirements of pregnancy), no “mood swings” (although I felt my feelings much more fully and deeply!), and my increasingly full and round “baby belly” was quite comfortable for me, even in my 3rd trimester in the hot Texas summer! I was physically active, dancing and taking walks, right up until the day of my labor. The changes in my hormones created a wonderful shift in my brain waves, resulting in spontaneous states of meditation, and other blissfully altered states of consciousness. This provided an opportunity for me to cultivate subtle, telepathic channels of communication with my baby. I even received his name, Cedar Kumara, when I “asked” him his name during an especially deep meditation/communication about halfway through my pregnancy!

I knew he was a boy since nearly the beginning, without having to check with an ultrasound. I actually felt no desire or requirement for ANY pre-natal care with a doctor or midwife the entire time, preferring tuning into my innate knowing of everything important, which I discovered that I definitely have! I deeply desired to experience pregnancy and birth in the most intimate way possible, to find out how many of my previously dormant superpowers I could activate during this profound window of opportunity that women usually have only a few times in their lives. I never checked my baby’s position when nearing my due date, preferring to mentally communicate with my baby about why coming out headfirst will be the most comfortable, desirable experience for him. I never bothered having my nutrient levels checked (I trusted my natural food desires to show me which nutrients I required more of at any given time), checked measurements, or any of the other standard pre-natal procedures.

What I did do a lot of during my pregnancy, is contemplate all aspects of my life in great detail. I was very aware that as I was preparing to give birth to Cedar, I was also preparing for my own Rebirth as his mother. I felt myself transitioning to an entire new phase of my life, and nothing would ever be the same. I purified my consciousness of outdated things, thoughts, beliefs and activities. I imagined what my life would be like with Cedar here, in as much detail as possible. For me, pregnancy was an exciting opportunity for purification and transformation, into a much more evolved, responsible, powerful and caring expression of myself.

Back to the theme of Trust… my pregnancy was a gradual evolution of my trust in myself, my body, and God. Before I was pregnant, I hardly “knew” anything about pregnancy and birth. During my pregnancy, I read a lot of books about natural, spiritual pregnancy and childbirth. The more I read, the more I realized I already know all about this topic, deep inside my cells, within my divine blueprint as a woman. My confidence increased more and more. Right from the start, having a home birth was my default choice (my mother birthed me and my sisters at home, so I was already comfortable with home births as the normal way of things). For a long time, I contemplated whether to have a midwife at my birth, or just do it myself. As my pregnancy progressed, something kept me from contacting a midwife. When I found out that most midwives require the pregnant mother have at least SOME pre-natal care with her beforehand, and I felt no motivation to do this, I realized then that I had a deep desire for the empowerment, trust, courage, and personal responsibility of having an unassisted birth, and how having this experience would transform my perception of myself…

Cedar’s Birth… A Story of Trust, Courage & Commitment:

I was two weeks past my due date. I had intuitively felt for a while that my official due date was too soon for us, and our big day would come sometime afterward, so I felt very relaxed about this. One night, I woke up at 3AM, to the subtle yet distinctly clear pulsing of my first contractions/expansions/waves. For the next two hours, I enjoyed these rhythmic waves during the peaceful serenity of night, allowing myself to fully integrate what this means… the time has finally come!!! I will soon see my very own child, face to face, hear his voice and feel his skin! Is this real?!? I woke Isaac up when I was ready. We celebrated… we hugged and expressed our joy at the inevitable forthcoming BIRTH of our child!! Then we took a nap :)

I had no idea how long my labor would be. I thought it might be pretty short, which is a common experience for raw vegan women. And yet, the hours were passing, my expansions still continuous, and slowly, gradually increasing in intensity. 12 hours later, at 3 in the afternoon… it was hot outside… and inside. Ooh.. things were becoming pretty intense. How much longer could I do this? The evening came, and nighttime set in. My experience began to get very psychedelic. My expansions became unbearably intense… well, my mind thought so. I encountered the Dark Night, a primal confrontation with doubt, fear, and a deep belief in limitation that I didn’t know was in me. Could I really do this? How much longer would it be? Was I going to “run out” of energy and pass out?? Isaac and my mother were the two people I chose to attend my birth… Isaac to be by my side the whole time, and my mom in the other room as a backup in case things became really intense (which they did). Their support and encouragement during this time meant everything to me. They helped me do the impossible… to keep going, keep allowing, and keep trusting. This was becoming a marathon labor, and I did my best to rest between expansions. It was now the middle of the night again… I went back and forth between my bed and our bathtub full of warm spring water. My body went back and forth between hot and cold. I remember leaning on my bathroom counter to ride another wave, and looking at my face in the mirror… I looked completely different, my eyes and face revealing the shamanic dimension I now occupied.

At some point, the pushing began. I didn’t actually do any pushing… the pushing HAPPENED THROUGH ME. It was the most powerful force in the universe, and it would come in through the top of my head, down my spine, and my muscles would then spontaneously push my baby further down my birth canal! The only part of this process I had any control over were my thoughts/attention, breathing, and vocalizations. I sang as I pushed, in low tones to move my energy downward. I was told afterward that I pushed for two and a half hours! It seemed like his head was in my birth canal for an amazingly long period of time… I would feel with my fingers to find his head, and it kept feeling so far back still, and I felt myself stretching SO HUGE already! Also, while his head was in my birth canal, he must have been moving his facial features, because I kept feeling the most amazing and surprising little sensations! Then during the span of a few pushes, Isaac told me his head was out! I felt a burst of energy and power… I thought, Wow, I am really going to finish this!!! Two more pushes, and his wet little body slipped out, right into Isaac’s hands. My entire body felt the most gigantic, all-encompassing feeling of relief and satisfaction EVER. I heard a brand new voice announce his arrival. A massive wave of victorious joy poured through my whole body. “Look, Courtney!” Isaac called. I turned around. My little boy was in his hands, moving his body and making little sounds. “Ohhh… he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!!” We went immediately into the bathroom and into our bathtub. My placenta came out only a minute or so later. My birth was complete. I actually did it. Then I passed out.

I woke up on the bathroom floor. Isaac and my mom had caught me. I was able to crawl into my bedroom, and I laid on the floor cradled by mom and my dad (who had recently arrived with a case of coconuts). “Just hold me… like you did when I was born” I said a few times. I heard my little boy’s voice coming from the tub in the bathroom, and I felt waves of warmth pour through my body, and the most profound love I have ever felt. I had just been Reborn. I was brand new. And my child was brand new. We were brand new together!! Isaac brought our baby into our room and we snuggled up on the floor together, naked and wet, wrapped in towels. I was in awe, and in love. This was the best day of my entire life so far! And the first day of my new life.

Post-Partum Bliss:

Cedar was born with the dawn of this new day, at exactly 7AM on September 21st, the Autumn Equinox. I was in continuous labor for 28 hours. I was surprised to discover my perineum remained fully intact… I really did stretch that far! I’m sure it had much to do with my pushing/birth position (hands and knees/squatting) and my controlled breathing during pushes.

My mom stayed at our house to help out for the first week after our birth. Cedar was a lotus birth, which means we kept his umbilical cord and placenta attached until they fell off naturally… check out http://lotusbirth.info for more about this wonderful gift you can give your child! He was attached for his first 5 days, which had the extra side benefit of making it inconvenient for me to get out of bed, keeping me resting as much as possible :) We got around to weighing him a week after his birth; he was a healthy, radiant 8-pound little boy, and becomes healthier and more radiant daily! For the first week after our birth, I focused on deep replenishment and bonding… resting, sleeping, nourishing food, hydrating beverages, and establishing my nursing relationship with my little one (he quickly became an enthusiastic little suckler, and when my milk came in on the third day, it came in massive abundance!). I had gone 28 hours with no actual sleep, very little food (all I could get down the whole time was water, raspberry/nettle tea with honey, coconut water with grass powder, and a spirulina/honey/coconut oil superfood mixture), while engaging in the most physically demanding act I have ever done. Taking great care of myself afterward made all the difference… a week after my birth I felt wonderful, actually the best I had ever remembered feeling!

My labor and birth went differently than I expected. I had planned on a water birth, and as I rode the intense waves of labor, I discovered that my tub was too small and hard for the high level of comfort I required. The challenging moments were immense, and taught me about the power of REAL commitment. The joyful moments were ecstatic and victorious, and set the tone for cultivating my ever expanding joy of mothering Cedar. I am deeply grateful for my whole experience. My labor and birth was the most empowering, transformative experience of my life so far.

If my story was inspiring or empowering for you, it has served my purpose in sharing it. I fondly imagine a time very soon when all women will take personal responsibility for their journey into motherhood, the rite of initiation that birth represents, and forge the path of a new paradigm of mothering: continuous conscious awareness, willingness to personally evolve in every way, and the daily celebration of the ecstatic joy of being alive.